Virtual Meetings: Make Time for Empathy
Most of our business at Levelhead is conducted virtually. And, because of the nature of what we do, there is a fair amount of “check ins” with each other at the beginning of every virtual meeting. This has allowed us to create strong relationships within our team and our clients - without ever meeting in-person.
Recently, I’ve noticed a change in the way we interact in virtual meetings outside of my role at Levelhead. Previously, when meetings were done via phone, we would jump right into the agenda with little or no interaction among the attendees. However, since we started doing meetings via video, attendees are naturally, without being prompted to do so, taking a few moments to “check in” with each other.
During this check-in time, we talk about what’s going on with them personally … How are they doing? … How’s the family? We take turns talking and listening. And if one of us doesn’t jump into the conversation, someone will ask them a question. I’m not exactly sure why this is happening. Perhaps it’s our common experience of Covid-19, perhaps we are just hungry for any social connection, or we feel closer because we have the added sensory experience of seeing versus just hearing.
In reality, it’s likely a combination of factors. Video conferencing gives us a window into the personal lives of others, such as being able to see family photos on the shelves, hearing children play or laugh, watching people try to control a barking dog, or putting themselves on mute when the doorbell rings and announcing, “Yes, it was another delivery from Amazon.”
When we have additional information that comes from videoconferencing, we’re able to decipher subtle cues about the other person. Also, when teams or groups of people are allowed to express a range of emotions with others in a constructive way, they are able to develop informational resources needed to make sense of social relationships and workplace events (Kim & Robert, 2019). Interactions that allow people to safely express emotions result in fewer unproductive disagreements and conflicts. Additionally, team members are more open to different ideas and suggestions (Kim & Robert, 2019).
At work, most of us are conditioned to make the most of our time together and stay focused on the task at hand. We were taught to avoid chit-chat and have been warned to not waste time talking about how we feel or what’s really on our mind. When we think and act this way, we are saying that it’s the work that matters, not the people involved in getting the work done. While few people will admit this, we act as though it’s true.
HOW TO ENGAGE EMPATHY
Virtual meetings provide an excellent opportunity to build the empathy quotient of your team. If you are the leader of the meeting, here are a few thoughts for you to consider:
Make individual check-ins a regular part of the meeting. It doesn’t take a lot of time to simply ask people how they are, what’s new, what they are excited about, or what they are worried about. This will give you clues as to what’s on their mind.
Allow people to express how they feel without judgment. You don’t have to agree with what they are saying, but giving people an opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings is an important part of building trust. If the topic is not appropriate for a group discussion, gently pause the person and say that you will follow up with them separately.
Try not to let one person dominate the discussion. If this happens, directly and compassionately re-direct the conversation in a different direction or to another person.
Find a way to engage everyone. If you notice that you haven’t heard from one of the participants in a few minutes, it might alert you to reach out to that individual.
If you are participant and not the leader of the meeting, you also have a role to play.
Pay attention. The greatest gift you can give others is to listen openly without judgment.
Ask open-ended questions. These are questions that start with how, what, where, or why.
Be aware of your body language. Try to make eye contact with the speaker by using your camera. Nod and smile as you would in-person.
Use your mute button appropriately. Most of our computers are very sensitive to sounds. Make sure you are on mute except when you are speaking. Don’t worry if you start to talk on mute, someone will tell you. 😊
As we re-engineer the way work gets done, perhaps it’s time to incorporate more empathy and care into our interactions so they will hopefully be a permanent part of our work life. In fact, research shows that when we take time to develop stronger relationships, we are more cooperative, collaborative, and productive (Kim & Robert, 2019).
Reference
Kim, S., & Robert, L. P. (2019). Emotional Carrying Capacity in Virtual Teams: Developing a Capability to Constructively Share a Range of Emotions