Oh No! The Gym is Closed!
Ok, it finally hit me today that things are really going to be different. The gym is closing. It’s funny how a relatively minor change in my regular routine made such an impact on me. It’s odd because I am a news junky and hear bad news all day. Not even empty grocery shelves made this kind of impact on me, but when I heard the gym was closing, the crisis became personal.
This morning as I was just about to walk out the door, I got a text that the gym was closed. I stood there for a minute and thought. What am I going to do? This is how I start every day. As I started to go down the self-pity route, I heard a news story about closing daycare. Oh, my goodness, what are people going to do who just heard that story? Then I thought about all of the people who are hearing that their workplace is closing, especially those who count on tips and commissions. How must they feel?
All of a sudden, I forgot about my disappointment. Frankly, I felt a little selfish and spoiled. My move from self-pity to feeling empathy literally took less than one minute.
My guess is that we all have had or will have something happen that makes the crisis personal and real over the coming weeks. Like me, it might not be the big things, but something that you have taken for granted. So, I thought it might be a good time to prepare ourselves and restock our supply of empathy. Here is a quick exercise that you might find useful:
How To Shift Your Perspective
When you find yourself starting to feel disappointed or going down the self-pity road, take a moment to adjust your perspective by taking these four steps:
Say to yourself, “Stop” or “Wait minute”.
Then turn your awareness outward. What about other people? Consider who might be having an even more difficult time coping with the crisis.
Perhaps it’s someone who has less financial support than you.
Maybe it’s someone who is ill or has family members who are ill.
It might be a group of people such as the homeless. Who is looking out for them?
Then, consider what can I do to help?
It might mean making a donation to a group that has an outreach program.
Or, it might include organizing a group to supply food to people who are unable to get out or might not have the resources to purchase a couple weeks’ worth of food.
Finally, take a moment to consider all the things that you are grateful for.
My guess is that you will see self-pity and disappointment either disappear or lessen long before you finish this exercise. But don’t be surprised. Self-pity is sneaky. It might rear its ugly head at any time. Be on guard and be prepared to chase it away with a dose of empathy.
We are all just trying to do the best we can in this radically different world. Please be kind to yourself. It is natural to be disappointed and experience periods of self-pity. But we don’t have to “wallow in it” and allow it to dominate our lives. We have the ability to re-supply our level of empathy anytime we need it.