Building Positive Relationships
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Recent research shows that relationships are critically important to our well-being and happiness. To be happier, we need to focus on the quality of our relationships. Exceptional relationships foster optimism and cheerfulness. Of course, in addition to bringing us joy, relationships can cause us anxiety and sadness. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves saying something in a moment of distress that we deeply regret later. Sometimes we even lash out at the person we value the most. Relationships test us in many ways, redefining how we see ourselves and the world around us.
Mindfulness helps us become aware of what we’re experiencing and helps us create space to decide how we want to act in our relationships. For example, we can improve communication quality during conflict by being centered and calm. This allows us to talk things out instead of spiraling into a hopeless situation. Why is this important? Because when we have someone we care about, whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friend, a colleague, or a family member, the relationship is worth working on. It will add to the quality of our life and our relationships. Experiencing our emotions without reacting and learning to observe feelings and thoughts without getting caught up in them opens us to more possibilities for responding to situations. By doing this, we can build healthy and respectful interactions—leading to positive relationships that will help us thrive.
Ways to Stay Emotionally Connected
Mindfulness is not just an individual practice. It is also a way to expand awareness of how our decisions impact others. To help you get started, review the following steps to see how you can be more socially mindful.
Tune in to your attention. If you are like most people, when you take a moment to consider where your attention is focused, you are likely to find that it is focused inward. You will most likely be tuned into the running dialogue of thoughts inside your head.
Shift your attention outward. Once you understand where your attention is focused, you can shift your focus outward. To do this, first pause your internal dialogue by taking a few slow and even breaths. This pause will help you refocus your attention to take in your environment and consider others.
Consider others' thoughts, feelings, motivations, and intentions. The shift to this type of focus requires us to engage in three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate.
Cognitive empathy, sometimes called perspective-taking, refers to our ability to identify and understand other people's emotions and thoughts.
Emotional empathy refers to the ability to express an appropriate emotional response to another person's experiences so that the other person feels supported and accepted.
Compassionate empathy goes beyond understanding what others might be thinking or feeling. It moves us to act or make decisions with consideration for others.
Avoid judgment. Putting others first requires us to accept people as they are and not judge others' thoughts, feelings, and motivations. To be non-judgmental requires us to have the ability to be aware of more than one perspective on a situation, not just our own. In other words, we must accept the assumption that other people's needs and motivations are as equally valid as our own, even if we disagree with them.
Decide. As you consider your options, being socially mindful means thinking about how your actions may or may not limit the other person's choices. We all like to have autonomy in our decisions. However, we must be aware that today's choices impact others more than ever.