Our New Normal
Everyone seems to be talking about the need to establish “our new normal”. You may have noticed that people have a lot of ideas on what activities we should include in the new normal, such as making our beds, getting dressed every day, going to bed and getting up at the same time, etc.
There are two concerns with this broad-based approach to establishing a new routine. One is that it uses a “one-size fits all” approach to developing a daily routine. The source of the recommendations is usually something that worked for the author and doesn’t consider how different our lives are. The second concern is that this approach ignores the fact that making a change in our habits is difficult and requires an intentionally-focused approach to be successful.
The reason we often have difficulty in changing our habits and making new ones is that routines make our lives easier. They allow us to mindlessly perform tasks while thinking about something else. This makes our routines feel effortless and helps us feel safe and comfortable.
On the other hand, changing behavior requires us to be intentionally focused in the here and now. This means that we can’t allow our minds to wander aimlessly as we perform routine tasks. This is hard to do. We like being on automatic pilot, doing things without much, if any thought. This works well for us until we want to make changes.
We’ve been physically distancing for many weeks now. At first, I felt really uncomfortable and anxious that I had to change many of my habits and routines. But slowly and intentionally, I have established a new normal for my day. While my new routine is not ideal, it allows me to experience my day with a predictable pattern that supports my goals during this period of time. But this change was not easy and did not happen overnight.
BUILDING A NEW ROUTINE
If you haven’t established your new healthy and productive routine, the following exercise might be helpful in getting started:
Step 1: Visualize Your Daily Routine
Start by finding a comfortable, seated position with your eyes closed or your gaze focused downward.
Begin by connecting your mind and body by taking 2-3 deep, soothing breaths.
Now, take a moment to examine your current daily routine.
Keeping in mind your current limitations, review your typical day. What changes do you think are needed to help you and your family live healthier and happier lives?
Perhaps it means adding activities related to spending time with loved ones, or eating healthy foods, or adding more movement.
Try not to focus on your limitations or how you wish things to be, but focus on your new reality.
Because of the challenges of today’s environment, you might want to consider a routine that is less structured than pre-Covid-19, allowing time to focus on things that are truly important to you.
Once you get an idea of how you want your day to flow, try to imagine yourself effortlessly moving through a day with this new routine.
Step 2: Set Goals for Your New Routine
Setting goals is an important tool in helping you sustain your new routine. You might set goals related to your health, career, relationships, or family. For example, you might set a goal of making time for yourself, or to begin a gratitude practice, or perhaps you would like to make changes to your eating or exercise routine.
Most people find that starting with only one or two goals is the most manageable way to make changes.
Also, you may want to start with something new. Revisiting things that didn’t work previously may result in frustration and disappointment.
Sometimes a fresh perspective on an aspect of your life is the best way to gain traction on moving in a positive direction, especially since we’re living within a narrower range of options.
Now take a moment and visualize how you will feel once you have achieved your goal(s).
Step 3: SMART Technique
A technique that many people find helpful in establishing goals is a process known as SMART goals. This is an acronym which stands for:
S= Specific. This means the more detailed your goal is the more likely you’ll achieve it. Your goal should be clear, simple, and easy to remember.
M=Measurable. You need to be able to accurately track your progress. It doesn’t have to be a highly sophisticated measurement. It may only be “yes, I did it” or “no, I missed it”.
A= Attainable. Setting a goal that’s too ambitious will result in a struggle to achieve and will likely result in you giving up.
R= Relevant. Your goal will be more motivating if it’s related to something that is important to you.
T=Time-Bound. Finally, setting an expected timeframe will help quantify it and help you monitor your progress.
FYI, one of my goals is to spend at least 30 minutes a day outside. So far, I haven’t missed a day. 😊
One final thought. Keep in mind that change is hard even in the best of times. Today’s environment makes it especially difficult to stay focused on our goals. So, please be kind and patient with yourself. Once you experience the inevitable slip-up, the key to getting back on track is forgiving yourself for your humanness. All of us make mistakes … we lose motivation … we have self-doubt. Once we accept that fact, we are more likely to shake off our failures and begin again.