The Impact of Gratitude on Relationships
Gratitude is defined generally as an orientation toward “seeing the positive,” particularly in the context of social relationships. In a crisis, such as the pandemic, research shows that being thankful for close relationships and one’s circumstances is an adaptive, natural coping response to a threatening situation (Fredrickson et al., 2003). It seems that many of us understood this, and as a result, an analysis of Twitter posts found that expressions of gratitude increased during the early months of the pandemic (Lwin et al., 2020).
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In the field of positive psychology, the fundamental premise is that positive emotions such as gratitude are central to health, wellness, resilience, and flourishing (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). Specifically, decades of research in positive psychology indicate that gratitude is associated with a lower risk of mental illness and higher well-being in both adults and adolescents (Yang et al., 2020).
According to the “remind-and-bind” theory, gratitude strengthens relationships by creating mutually positive and rewarding connections. This theory acknowledges that with our interdependence comes a need to know how we relate to others. Expressing gratitude provides the opportunity to solidify a relationship with someone. The social nature of gratitude causes the benefits to flow in two directions, resulting in a self-reinforcing process. For example, a study of romantic partners expressing gratitude to the other partner found that expressing gratitude promotes behaviors that enhance the relationship. Specifically, expressing appreciation to a partner for some aspect of their behavior prompts them to do more of the same behavior (Kubacka et al., 2011). The association between gratitude and interpersonal relationships is often described as a mutually reinforcing “upward spiral”, with gratitude resulting in positive social experiences, enhancing appreciation (Bono et al., 2019).
Our mental health is significantly challenged during this pandemic (CDC, 2020). Since the pandemic, many studies have reinforced that expressing gratitude increases positive emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and psychological need satisfaction (Feng & Yin, 2021). A 2021 study found that emotional adjustment to circumstances surrounding the pandemic improved by expressing gratitude to others (Feng & Yin, 2021). Specifically, this study found that people who reported higher levels of gratitude accomplished more in daily life, reported higher levels of meaning in life, thrived more, showed less psychological distress, more positive emotions, and lower negative emotions (Feng & Yin, 2021).
It is clear from more than 30 studies completed during the pandemic that practicing more gratitude is a beneficial strategy to strengthen relationships and cope with the emotional consequences related to living through a global pandemic. How will you leverage it to strengthen an important relationship in your life?
References
Bono, G., Froh, J. J., Disabato, D., Blalock, D., McKnight, P., & Bausert, S. (2019). Gratitude’s role in adolescent antisocial and prosocial behavior: A 4-year longitudinal investigation. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 14 (2), 230–243. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2017. 1402078
Fredrickson, B. L., Tugade, M. M., Waugh, C. E., & Larkin, G. R. (2003). What good are positive emotions in crises? A prospective study of resilience and emotions following the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11th, 2001. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 365–376. https://doi.org/10.1037// 0022-3514.84.2.365
Feng, L., & Yin, R. (2021). Social support and hope mediate the relationship between gratitude and depression among front-line medical staff during the pandemic of COVID-19. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 579.
Kubacka, K. E., Finkenauer, C., Rusbult, C. E., & Keijsers, L. (2011). Maintaining close relationships: Gratitude as a motivator and a detector of maintenance behavior. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(10), 1362–1375. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167211412196
Lwin, M. O., Lu, J., Sheldenkar, A., Schulz, P. J., Shin, W., Gupta, R., & Yang, Y. (2020). Global sentiments surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic on Twitter: Analysis of Twitter trends. JMIR Public Health and Surveillance, 6(2), e19447. https://doi.org/10.2196/ 19447
Csikszentmihalyi, M., & Seligman, M. (2000). Positive psychology. American Psychologist, 55(1), 5-14.
Yang, K., Yan, W., Jia, N., Wang, Q., & Kong, F. (2020). Longitudinal relationship between trait gratitude and subjective well-being in adolescents: Evidence from the bi-factor model. The Journal of Positive Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2020.181881