I’m Feeling a Little Sad
The holidays are over, and many may feel a little letdown. After all the excitement, we anticipate returning to a routine that may lack the joy and happiness of the holidays. Given a choice, most of us would say we want to experience happiness and avoid sadness. We also think of one emotion as good and the other as bad. However, all emotions serve a purpose and are part of what it means to be a human. Happiness is a pleasant emotional state often characterized by contentment, joy, gratification, satisfaction, and well-being. We usually express happiness with facial expressions such as smiling, relaxed body language, and an excited, upbeat tone. Feelings of disappointment, grief, hopelessness, disinterest, low energy, and mood often characterize sadness. For most, these negative feelings are transient, but for some, these feelings can be prolonged and severe and may result in depression.
Emotion theorists propose that sadness, like other emotions, was maintained through human evolution because it helped solve problems our early ancestors encountered. Research indicates that when people face obstacles to their goals that outstrip their abilities and resources, their sad expressions, tears, and behaviors elicit empathy and aid from others. When obstacles, failure, or loss occur, sadness can also be an architect of cognitive change, leading people to reconsider their beliefs and goals. It prompts us to consider the implications of loss, disengage from unattainable goals and unrealistic expectations, and develop more realistic ones. This restructuring of our thinking and beliefs requires effort but is essential in keeping us from wasting time on unrealistic expectations and goals. Over time, our disengagement from the object of our sadness will enhance our well-being and make it possible for us to pursue new goals.
Mixed Feelings
While most people experience only pleasant emotions in reaction to an enjoyable experience, several studies show we can simultaneously experience pleasant and unpleasant experiences. For example, college graduation can make people happy about their accomplishments and sad about leaving their college friends.
Getting Comfortable with All Emotions
It is possible to be open and accepting of all emotions through practice. It’s not about ignoring or pushing down uncomfortable ones or needing only positive ones. Learning to take all our emotions with curiosity will allow us to experience life fully.
