Lean on Your Friends

There is no question that this period of time has been one of the most difficult and challenging periods that we have ever experienced. Every aspect of our lives has been impacted. While it may be difficult to find a silver lining in all of this, I think getting to know my friends on a deeper level has been one of the most beneficial aspects of having this shared challenge.

Most of us know our friends’ strengths and expertise in terms of their professional lives and what they do for a living. However, we may not know about their hidden talents and expertise. For example, to my surprise, one of my friends worked in a hair salon while she was in college and still has a knack for cutting hair (a highly valued skill these days). Another can fix anything and can walk you through how to do it yourself. One friend has a hobby of baking and loves to drop off goodies. And, so on and so on.

The big “a-ha” for me was that when I allowed myself to be vulnerable and open, and asked for help or support, people were eager to rise to the occasion. This vulnerability helped me discover dimensions of their lives that I would never have known otherwise. I feel like I got to know them on a deeper level and now our friendship is even closer.

The other thing that I have learned is that when I asked for help, it helped them as well. Many friends shared how being able to be of service in some way to another person gave them purpose during this disorienting time. My friends’ reaction to my asking for help inspired me to think about how I might be of service to others.

While I don’t have hidden talents such as hair cutting or baking, I do know how to organize things. For example, I took it upon myself to organize virtual cocktail hours for my friends, which allowed me to teach them how to use various video software platforms. Now, they can take the initiative to organize virtual events themselves. It’s such a simple thing, but it really felt good to be of service in some way.

During this time, we all have the opportunity to get to know our friends and family on a deeper level. Sometimes all it takes is to ask for help. It may not be for something big. It might something as simple as asking if anyone knows how to do something. This opens the door to what I like to call a “virtuous cycle”. This means that you find a solution to your problem, your friend benefits from helping you, and you both get to know each other in new ways and gain an even greater appreciation for your friendship.

We have attached one of our Levelhead exercises that might inspire you to reach out to your friends to ask for a little help or support, thus beginning your own virtuous cycle.